Authenticity…thoughts on…..

Over lockdown, I learned how important it was to make yourself visible for your business, give yourself a profile, make yourself trustworthy, be consistent and be authentic.

Ok, we’ll I obviously haven’t been consistent because I haven’t added any thought to this page for a while.

But, a rainy day, August, and having come back from an abysmal, frankly, event at RHS Hyde, I feel the need to concentrate on the “Authentic”.

Doing this, I realise how very shattered I am from the dull, negative and unresponsive reactions I received to my work at this event. Goodness knows why it all descended on me in these five days, but it did.

Twelve superb silk squares all in a row!

From the concept of what I do, to the production and the pricing.

You can say that you can’t please everyone all the time, and I never have tried to. I know that not everyone is going to “get” what I’ve been about, but for goodness sakes, if you don’t understand, ask and learn.

Responses such as “Do you do this for a hobby?” just cut to the heart.

There are so many people who love what I do, and thank goodness for that! I genuinely appreciate the positivity, joy and exchanges that come from you all. It keeps me up and going.

And so, let me reel myself back to these thoughts of authenticity.

It’s not all flowers and chocolates, great profit making, and praise. I’ve had five of the most unrewarding days that have done no good to my confidence and self preservation. I feel low and very discouraged, completely out of touch and very disheartened.

That’s the authenticity of what going down at the moment. Running my own small business isn’t easy, isn’t fun packed 24 hours a day. It demands a whole lot of confidence and self belief that they don’t give away free. I try and show my best self to you all out there, and how splendid and lovely it is, - and it is! But sometimes there’s the bad times too. And that’s me being authentic.

But hey, let’s not allow me to close on negativity, no matter how authentic.

“There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in” - Leonard Cohen

In trying to switch off from the hurtful silly responses to my work, I retreated into my visual head and wow, have I got a new design bubbling up there. It won’t become anything - not a scarf or a shawl - it’ll just be a wonderful piece of tapestry done for it’s own sake of existing and if anyone wants to buy it, once completed, all the better. (Otherwise it’ll turn up in some charity shop once I’m long gone!)

So, thanks for reading this touch of true authenticity. I would love to know if you got to the end, and what you think. Please leave a comment.

“Sometimes it’s good to expose the vulnerable bits, so people can lean over and kiss it better!” -

Shelley Faye Lazar xxx